Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Belle's First Signs of Life

January 2006- last week

It was on the last week of January that I suspected that I was pregnant. I was suspecting it because I missed my period and that never happened to me before. Also, when I told my mother on the phone that I missed my period that month, she immediately said that I was pregnant. So Paul and I went to the Fairview Ridges clinic to check with the experts there. A nurse asked a urine sample from me and did the pregnancy test. Guess what? I was right! We were pregnant. Paul and I hugged, laughed and perspired! We were really pregnant! We were so excited and there was an unspeakable joy in our hearts. We were smiling for the whole day.

I started having nauseas. I was vomiting. Getting up in the morning wasn't fun. Some food didn't taste the same I they did before. I stop drinking coffee because I couldn't stand the smell of it. It was strange because I always liked coffee. Now my coffee maker would be standing on the counter without a purpose to fulfill. LOL!

February 2006- First week

Our first nurse visit- The nurse asked me again for a urine sample and did the same procedure of pregnancy test and as expected, the color pink appeared again. We were then introduced to my OB-Gyn. Guess what his name was. Dr. Beer. Dr. Rodolfo Beer, as in B E E R! He was a nice young man. He wasn't very friendly. But in fairness to him, he talked to us in such a way that we could trust him. Anyway, he did an ultrasound on my tummy and we got to see the little black "thingy" which he referred to as the baby. He said that the baby was as big a rice grain at 6 weeks.

The baby was almost 2 months this time. All food seemed to smell terribly awful, especially meat. I was having unbearable morning sickness. I felt weak. I often wake up with dizziness or otherwise having queasy stomach. At one afternoon, I basically threw up all I ate for lunch. It's disgusting. I also noticed my mood swings. I noticed though that I laughed a lot. Small things made me laugh to the max. I was reading a lot and did so much scrap booking.

March 8, 2006

Second nurse visit- I had a blood test to check my protein and sugar level. The nurse also gave us a little seminar on what I should do to care for myself and the baby and also to give us guidelines as to making appointments and regular clinic visits.

March 9, 2006

I had my pap smear for the first time. It wasn't painful but I felt a little bit uncomfortable. The result came out to be normal. After that we checked the baby again through ultrasound. The baby had a form already. We could see the baby's head, hands and the whole body. Dr. Beer printed some of the photos from the ultrasound for us to bring home and keep. The baby was 55 mm at 12 weeks.

April 2006

Paul and I flew to New York to see his friend Chris and my friend Lisa. It was my first time to see New York. While flying, I felt the baby moved in my tummy for the first time. I found New York to be just like other mega cities in the countries that I've visited before. I think that my expectation of it was bigger than it actually is. Subway rides didn't fascinate me at all. It was a little of a hassle to walk a lot to the subway station, especially for a 4-month pregnant like me. And I was cold because we didn't bring warm clothes thinking that NY was warmer than MN. It was raining a lot there. But it was fun to see Hadley (Chris' wife) performed in an opera. Also, I got to eat grilled fresh tuna. I should not forget that I enjoyed our sightseeing. Some of the places we visited were the Trump Tower, Imperial Building, Time Square and the Statue of Liberty.

I had a breast ultrasound at the hospital and two lumps were found in my left breast. We saw Dr. Jensen for check up and he recommended an ultrasound-guided biopsy. He said that he was pretty sure the lumps are benign. But to put our concern to rest, I should have a biopsy.

May 25, 2006

We had an ultrasound of the baby at the clinic to find out the gender of the baby. It's a GIRL! We were very excited that our first baby is a GIRL! We started thinking harder what to name our baby.

May 26, 2006

Paul showed me the 1000 most common baby names in the USA on the newspaper in the morning. We were going through the names and came across the name ISABELLE on number 5. We thought it was a pretty name. We decided to look at the meaning of the name Isabelle on the internet. Then we read that it means "devoted to God" and "my God is a God of bounty". That week, I've been ready Deuteronomy. I thought that this book in the Bible has put so much emphasis on being devoted to God. We decided that the name of the baby would be Isabelle and her name will always remind us that we desire to be devoted to God and that we also desire for her to be devoted to HIM alone. Deuteronomy 30:10-20

We went to Winona because Paul had to help Tom Tschumper paint a big house. While they were painting, I was studying the driver's manual. I also took the written exam and failed in a test for the very first time. I studied harder and retook the test on the following day and passed and was issued my first driver's permit. I had my first "BTW" (behind the wheel) training with my father-in-law that week. It was fun but scary. I felt like being pregnant I had so many indescribable feelings. I wasn't very focused and I easily forgot instructions. It felt like I had zero confidence.

June 22, 2006

I had an ultrasound-guided biopsy. Paul was with me in the room while the procedure was done. It looked terrible but I didn't feel any pain at all. A big needle, the biggest one I've ever seen, was injected into my left breast. Blood was all around my breast and the hands of the surgeon. It was scary. I could see Paul fainting. But we were fine because we knew that Jesus was right there with us in the room.

July 2006

I was anxious to know the result of the biopsy. My stomach has grown so much. I could no longer see my feet. It's been difficult to sleep with a heavy tummy and the need to go to the bathroom many times during the night. I took a walk once a day for an hour with Paul. I had legs cramps at night and they were a little swollen. It was getting more and more uncomfortable. I couldn't wait for the baby to be born. Pregnancy was no longer fun and exciting at this time for me. IN addition, I had a really tough time emotionally being that I am away from my family. It was hard to find emotional support from Paul's family, especially from one of his siblings who acted selfishly that time to me. I just couldn't believe that she would come up to me to accuse me of something that I was totally innocent of. The last thing I'd like to hear that time was a whining from an adult acting like a child, demanding attention from me. It was very condescending. And I had the worst time in my life. I felt so alone, like I was in planet B, wherever it is. I also felt like Paul didn't sympathize with me enough. It was so difficult that I couldn't stop crying. I thought and felt like I was so alone even though I know that God was with me. I thought that she was very insensitive to my situation and that she was only thinking of herself. It's pathetic. But... though the sorrow may come in the night but joy comes in the morning... indeed! Because we got the biopsy result and the lumps were found benign!

On the 4th, my father-in-law had to go through rough time as he needed to have a by-pass surgery. It was a stressful time for me. I didn't like seeing Paul very sad and at the same time very hopeful that the surgery would be helpful to his dad's health issues. I really tried my best to relax so that the baby inside my tummy would not be affected by what was happening outside- mommy's world.

August 26, 2006

It feels like it's been quite a long journey for me being pregnant. So many changes have taken place, physically and emotionally. Physically, I'd say that my second trimester was nice and fun being that I was able to move around freely. I wasn't as heavy as I am right now. I could walk for an hour a day. I liked to walk to the little shopping center nearby our house and shop for purses and shoes and clothes. I could even walk up to Once Upon a Child and Rearn Thai Market. But now, the growing discomfort in my body is getting more and more vivid. My legs and feet are swollen. I can not find any comfort sleeping in bed. My tummy feels very heavy and big! Baby has started to move much harder. It's no longer fun. It hurts. But God's grace is sufficient. For when I am weak, He is strong!

September 27, 2006

I am already 7 days past my due date. I've talked to several women and asked them if they had the same experience. Most of them said they also went through the same. That was encouraging. Five days ago, I was so concern about the delay of my baby's birth. But when I had my quiet time, I felt like the Lord was telling me to renew my strength as He brought His Word in Isaiah to me... "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." I believe that He wants me to renew my strength- physically, emotionally and spiritually, as I wait for my baby to be born.

Waiting has always been a challenging thing for me. I think I've never learned to wait patiently. Obviously, God hasn't stop teaching me this very important virtue. Waiting is tiresome. What I really don't like about waiting is the doubts, worries and fears that come in while I am in the process of waiting. They are tormenting! But praise be to the Lord for He gives me the spirit of faith and of trust! I know that the main reason for waiting is trusting HIM.

"Be still and know that I am God." God is sovereign! He is a God of perfect timing. Everything is beautiful in its time.

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